So I really hope that things work out and I get outta B-ham-a-lam. The city’s great, don’t get my wrong. The people here are nice. The school’s pretty good. I favor the climate.
But there’s nothing here for me anymore. And it’s my fault, but, blegh. I need a new start. I need to go somewhere where nobody knows me (well, except for Nate I guess, but that’s okay) and try again.
Hell, I just need to get out of my house. I’ve needed to get out of my house for a long time. It just hasn’t happened. It almost happened at the end of last year, but my sister conspired against me to get me to stay. My mom convinced my sister that it would be a bad idea for me to move out using lies (I could’ve moved out to a friend’s house and paid nothing and stayed in Bellingham, but my mom lied to my sister and said that I’d have to work two jobs or some ridiculous bullcrap). So I’m here, still.
I would’ve stayed in Bellingham for longer if I’d gotten to move out into Nick’s place last year. Maybe I would’ve tried to mend some relationships that needed mending… then again, I dunno. I was still dating Haley back then, har, so maybe I wouldn’t have tried mending those relationships. I’ve only got one regret in my life (and no, it’s not Haley) and I really wish I could go back in time and fix crap. But here I am, and I’ve got to do what’s best for me to do.
And that’s to get a new start. If I don’t get to go to SLC this summer and start anew down there, I’ll probably go nuts. But that’s okay. And then as soon as school ends I’ll move as far away as possible for me to move and start anew somewhere else. I think the only person I’d keep in contact with is my brother. Maybe not even him. He’s kinda cancerous at this point, you see. Maybe what I really do need is a completely fresh start.
But that’d be hard to do. It’s always hard to leave what you know and do something new. I doubt I could pull it off. After a few weeks, I’d probably be back on the web, trying to track down Nate and Mark and Cody and Nick and Kai and see how they were all doing. I’d probably try and give my brother a call.
But it’s always been a “dream” of mine to leave for college and basically drop off the face of the earth for everyone that used to know me. Of course, when I had this “dream” I felt like nobody much cared for me anyway, so it wouldn’t matter if I did that or not. Now, though, I’ve got a handful of real friends, so…
I didn’t really have a point to this, it’s just kind of a long ramble. In other news, somebody owes me $5 because the Steelers “won.”