The Great American Novella

Well, not quite.
I suck at writing. This is fact. But I do it anyway! I’m done with the preface, done with Chapter 1, clipping right into Chapter 2… this is the sixth attempt at starting this beast up. I’ve been at work on it for seven years, or theresabout. You could call it my life work.
Too bad no one will ever read it ever because it sucks ;).
The Great American Novella, however, is a work my brother’s writing. That’s not the title, either, that’s just what I’m calling it. I’m sure by now that you’ve all heard of a little piece of work called A Million Little Pieces. I’m also sure that you’ve heard it was all made up and that rather spoiled the book.
Well, my brother is writing his “version” of A Million Little Pieces, so to speak. Really, they’re kind of his memoirs… he’s already 120 (notebook) pages in, and “just barely started.” When he gets on the other side, I don’t doubt he’ll get published and become rich and famous.
I mean, he’s ten times better than me at just about everything. Minus life, because he’s an alcoholic, but that’s okay.
Wish him luck. (Don’t bother wishing me luck. I don’t deserve it, nor will it be useful. I suck at luck.)
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Because I never post real blogs anymore.

69 Odd Questions:
1) Are your parents married or divorced?
Divorced. My mom’s been divorced twice in my lifetime; she’s a champion!
2) Vegetarian?
For every animal you don’t eat, I’ll eat 3. (Non Maddox answer: No.)
3)Heaven?
What kind of a question is this? Is it asking if I believe in Heaven (no)? Is it asking if I’ll end up there (no)?
4) Come close to dying?
Don’t think so. I was in a car wreck once that could’ve been fatal had I been in the other car my family had at the time…
5) What jewelry do you wear 24/7
I don’t wear jewelry. I used to have a gold necklace that I wore because my brother had one that HE wore…
6) Are you eating?
Irregularly. I typically have less than one meal a day.
7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
I don’t answer dumb questions.
8) Makeup?
Oh, like, every day.
9) Were you the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationship?
Dumpee.
10) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
My boobs are kinda small, so…
11) What do you wear to bed?
The real question here is, what DON’T I wear to bed? Scandal(ous).
12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
Yeah.
13) Can you roll your tongue?
No.
14) Tweeze your eyebrows?
I don’t even know what, precisely, that entails.
15) What kind of watch(es)?
I used to have a digital watch, in the 4th grade.
16) Abortion?
I’m against abortion, but for killing babies. (Non Maddox answer: Yes. What makes you think that anyone has the right to choose for everyone?)
17) Hair color?
Brown.
18) Future child’s name?
Josef, after Stalin. (Serious answer: Probably Justin or Sara. More serious answer: Despite wanting children, I will never have them, so the question is irrelevent.)
19) Do you snore?
No.
20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would you go?
I have no idea. I haven’t been travelling ever. I’ve barely been outside the state. I’d like to go to somewhere with ruins.
21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No.
22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Buy myself a house.
23) Gold or silver?
Gold.
24) Hamburger or hot dog?
Meh.
25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Cheese?
26) Beach, city, or country?
Depends. Whichever could be the most isolated. (You can be isolated in a city… especially a big city. You get lost in the crowd. The beach would have to be completely private, as would the country. I would probably prefer the country the most.)
27) What was the last thing you touched?
Dumb question; the keyboard.
28) where do you eat?
At work or school. I rarely eat at my house.
29) When’s the last time you cried?
Hrm… last night?
30) Have you read blogs?
I read a few now and again.
31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Never say never, but I can’t see why I would.
32) Ever been involved with the police?
Not that I recall.
34) Do you talk in your sleep?
Not yet. It’s my goal!
35) Beach or pool?
Nuclear wasteland. (Oh. Uh. Beach? Best be sandy though.)
36)What’s your favorite song at the moment?
Sooooooo many to choose from. I’ll have to say Transcendence by Redemption, though.
38) Window seat or aisle?
Window.
39) Ever met any famous bands/singers?
No.
40) Do you feel that you’ve ever had a truly successful relationship?
Romantically? No. Personal? No. Professional? Sure.
41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
A little from coulmn A, a little from coulmn B…
42) Rickie Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Both should die in a cancerous fire.
43) Basketball or Football?
Football.
44) How long do your showers last?
As long as I need them to >_>.
45) Do you drive a stick?
I don’t drive. (Long story.)
46) Cake or ice cream?
I don’t have much of a sweet tooth (or much of a tooth, in some cases)
47) Self-conscious?
All the time, though I don’t think people would describe me that way. I’m self-conscious about things people don’t notice as much…
48) What time do you get up?
Depends on when I get to bed. 6:00 AM most of the time during the school week. I naturally wake up at around 5:00 PM. Sometimes I wake up at 1 to 4 AM in order to get homework done or something.
49) Have you ever given money to a bum?
No.
50. When was your first crush?
Meaningless dumb crush – 1st grade. Real crush – 7th grade.
51) Where do you wish you were?
Anywhere but where I am currently.
52) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Me? Break hearts? HA.
53) Have you ever rode in an ambulance?
I don’t believe so.
55) Last gift you received?
Probably the processor Cody ended up buying for me.
56) Last sport you played?
Football in 8th grade.
57). Things you spend a lot of money on?
Food, video games, music.
58) Where do you live?
BFE (Sudden Valley)
59) High School you attend(ed)?
Bellingham
60) Last wedding attended?
My mom’s third. She got divorced within a year — sooner than even I and my brother anticipated! Which is pretty impressive.
61) Favorite fast food restaurant?
Hrm. I’d probably have to say Arby’s.
62) Where do you work?
Valley Market. Hate it.
63) Most hated food:
I don’t really HATE any kind of foods, but I have low tolerance for spicy and sour things (long story).
65) Can you sing?
Horribly.
66) Last kiss?
Late July/early August I think.
68) Favorite drink?
Hrmmm… I dunno, it changes.
69) Current Crush?
Meh. I’ve been fostering the same crush for about five-six years. Not that it’ll ever get anywhere. I try to avoid relationships because I fail at them. (I’ve had and have other crushes too, not that it matters.)

zomg

My computer’s dead, my mouth sucks, school’s coming to a close (meaning I’m running out of time) and I’m working way more than I want to at my job.
But hey.
There’s always next year. And next year, I may be GONE! w000000000000t.
But I don’t know for sure yet. Salt Lake City, Santa Fe, Annapolis… where will I be?
Who knows.

more loldave

[09:50 PM] DiscoDave: I’ve also been called “a tall glass of water” before.  But my all time favorite description is….
[09:50 PM] DiscoDave: And this is a word for word quote…
[09:51 PM] DiscoDave: “I really like your personality, besides the wacko conservative George Bush thing you’ve got going on.”
[09:51 PM] John: omfgroflol
[09:51 PM] John: The man who invented/popularized Libretarian Dictatorism being described as GWesque.
[09:51 PM] John: Too classic.
[09:51 PM] DiscoDave: It’s worth noting that she was referring to George Bush Sr., not Dubya.
[09:51 PM] John: Oh.
[09:51 PM] John: Still classic.
[09:51 PM] DiscoDave: And she didn’t mean politically.
[09:52 PM] John: Well now you’re just fucking ruining it.
[09:52 PM] DiscoDave: Hey, fuck you.
[09:52 PM] John: Okay.
[09:52 PM] DiscoDave: Are you fucking you?
[09:52 PM] John: With my right hand, baby
[09:52 PM] DiscoDave: Okay, tmi.
[09:52 PM] John: That’s all it took to cross the line today? We’ve been way further than that.
[09:52 PM] John: You’re growing soft, old man.
[09:53 PM] DiscoDave: Perhaps.  I’m getting close to 30, it’s to be expected.
[09:53 PM] DiscoDave: Ugh.  I can’t believe I just said that.
[09:53 PM] John: Go shoot yourself.
[09:53 PM] DiscoDave: When did I get so fucking old?
[09:55 PM] John: Probably around the same time you got so fucking dumb.
[09:58 PM] DiscoDave: =P
[09:58 PM] DiscoDave: I hope you turn 30 before I do, ass.
[09:58 PM] John: Me too. Then I’ll be your elder and you’ll have to respect me, for once.
[09:58 PM] DiscoDave: I’ll give you at least as much respect as you’ve given me.
[09:58 PM] John: …fuck.
.
.
.
.
[10:12 PM] DiscoDave: Okay, I’m going home.  If you die in your sleep, I will not shed tears.
[10:13 PM] John: I was planning on killing myself before then.
[10:13 PM] John: Will you shed tears now?
[10:13 PM] DiscoDave: I think I’ll be okay.
[10:13 PM] John: Yeah, I figured.
[10:13 PM] DiscoDave: Let me know if you need to borrow a gun or anything.
[10:13 PM] John: K.
[10:13 PM] DiscoDave: Good luck, die well.
[10:13 PM] John: I’d miss you, and stuff.
[10:13 PM] John: But I’ll be dead.
[10:13 PM] DiscoDave: And by “well” I mean “painfully”.
[10:13 PM] John: And also, I’d be lying too.
[10:13 PM] John: So I guess I won’t miss you.
[10:14 PM] DiscoDave: Fag.
[10:14 PM] John: I hope a car t-bones you on the way home.
[10:14 PM] DiscoDave: Better a car than a mack truck.
[10:14 PM] John: Good idea…
[10:14 PM] John: I hope one of them has a head on collision with you instead.
[10:14 PM] DiscoDave: =P
[10:14 PM] *** “DiscoDave” signed off at Wed Mar 08 22:14:50 2006.

Poor, poor Laura.

She’s gonna have to go all the way to my other blog to realize that I finally made an update. (Yes, shocker, I know.)
I should probably get rid of MySpace here shortly. I don’t really even use it much anymore.
Join in on the fun at my real blog!

Teen angst? I smell bullshit.

I’m in one of those moods again. Well, “again” is probably inaccurate, because I’m almost always in one of these moods, but I digress. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and when I do that, bad things happen. Been browsing some MySpace blogs too (yes, my life sucks THAT much). I’ve noticed that there are quite a few teens like me, who have problems and don’t want to talk about them. Things bother us, and we don’t bother to share what’s eating at us.

Why do we feel like this? Well, the classic answer is “teen angst.” It’s just part of growing up, right? Those crazy teens and their crazy hormonal imbalances, they can’t figure out how to keep them under control! Not quite. The problem here is there’s a whole generation of parents telling a whole generation of children that their problems are all in their head. Teen angst is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Imagine that you have a semi-serious problem. Say someone in your family is constantly treating you like crap, calling you all sorts of nasty things, flying off at the handle, that sort of thing. Now, normally, a healthy response to this would be to talk to someone else about your problem. Even if your only aim is to get something off your chest, talking to someone else can be very therapeutic. However, if you are a teenager, you’ve been raised around the notion of “teen angst.” You start to think, “Well, maybe my problem isn’t so bad, after all. Maybe it’s just in my head.” Rather than dealing with problems, teens are taught how to ignore them. That’s definitely a healthy alternative!

Speaking of healthy alternatives, I wager that teen angst was designed as a healthy alternative to everyone’s “favorite” teenage stereotype: the drama queen. Teen angst was driven into the skulls of kids growing up so that parents wouldn’t find manifestations of the drama queen in their own children. Ironically, by teaching children to ignore their problems, drama queens are more likely to surface! They wallow in their own problems, unsure of how to cope, and so end up in a chronically sullen mood. This mood can lead to dramatic outbursts when something goes wrong for the teen. Of course, if parents would just teach their children the difference between minor and major problems (i.e., what’s worth bitching about and what isn’t) rather than create this myth of teen angst, there’d be far fewer depressed teens in the world.

Teen angst isn’t just something that parents instill into their children; it’s something that the children take to heart and help spread amongst themselves. When a friend has a problem, the most typical teen response I’ve seen is “will this really matter when you’re all grown up?” (Such a comment is obviously hinting at the fact that one’s friend is undergoing a slight bout of teen angst.) Granted, the problem isn’t likely going to be an issue once fully grown, but does that justify ignoring it in the present? If something is affected your mood and making you sad, it’s probably best to confront it head on and get over it rather than write it off as teen angst and hope your hormones fix themselves. We don’t tell depressed adults that their brains are just out of whack and that everything will be fine when their chemicals go back to normal, so why should we feed depressed teens the same line of bullshit?

The bottom line is that there is no such thing as “teen angst.” There’s depression, there’s sadness, and there’s people who over-exaggerate their problems. Adults are capable of all the same behaviors as teens, yet we don’t say that there’s “adult angst.” The very notion of teen angst is an incredibly dangerous one, one that is rearing a whole generation of people who don’t know how to cope with their own emotions.