The below represents some fragments from a climatic sequence in my eternally unwritten epic saga. Enjoy.
“So, the ultimate question then becomes…what matters more, actions or words? Which captures the essence of reality more, language or deeds? There was the deed you committed – the friend you betrayed for the love you wanted – lost in a galaxy of language about the universe you exist in. Yet you cannot understand your betrayal without the crutch of words.
“Reality, then, can only be understood and interpreted as a series of words that form an ‘idea’ – another word representing yet more words. The fundamental role that language plays is at once taken for granted and exploited – sometimes by the same person. He twists and bends the truth, if he does not outright lie, in order to advantage himself at the expense of others.
“And what, then, is the truth? The truth has become the pursuit of the most accurate and best fitting words to describe what is, what was, and what will come to pass. Absolute truth, the Truth with a capital T, would give an absolutely accurate understanding of the aspect of reality which it braced. Yet it is more complex than saying ‘the child is one year, three months, seven days, five hours, twenty minutes and six seconds old.’ For that does not apply in every instance, and in fact becomes invalidated the moment it is spoken.
“Absolute truth is impossible to achieve, and instead we call veritable misnomers ‘the truth.’ What do words like ‘older’ mean to a universe that does not divide time as we do?
“As you well learned, religion is full of misnomers. Xaos was no God, no god – were she anything, she was a goddess and yet even that is a profanity of the Truth, a blasphemy against reality.
“What is the meaning of the implicit, correlated relation between honesty and the truth? Honesty is a relation of one’s understanding without any manipulations – an accurate, direct, and complete reiteration of a viewpoint to the best of one’s ability to articulate it. It is as close to the Truth – as accurate a distillation of reality – as one can reasonably be expected to come.
“What Seth Vidar came to realize were precisely these things. In fact, he achieved a higher understanding – a total understanding of reality as it is, a feat mirrored by only two others: Xaos before, and Athanasius after. And where they drew similar conclusions, they chose entirely different ends. Xaos sought to impose her will on reality by editing it – at the cost of her sanity. Athanasius sought to destroy it, deeming it irrevocably damaged by those that came before – at the cost of his humanity. But Seth Vidar did nothing, waiting instead for the inhabitants of existence to redeem themselves in light of their transgressions. He had already paid a high price to learn the truth. He suffered the loss of his body, and with it the difficulties normally imposed on man. He inflicted upon himself a self-imposed exile from the world of man – the world of language – an isolation of unprecedented magnitude: The Silent Vigil.
“But understanding alone does not grant new power, only a complete and whole conceptualization of your innate and static power in all of its applications, and limitations. This is what so angered Athanasius – the primal hurt of having a dream and knowing you can’t achieve it. So he underachieved.
“The ultimate trick of the universe is its simplicity; the ultimate irony is with the complexity it has been attributed. That complexity is the work of that which is more deserving of the attribution evil than any other force at work – Chaos. Chaos eradicates reality by complicating it beyond comprehension. Once it ceases to make sense – loses the ability to be perceived – it winks out of existence.
“Love is pure, and simple, and honest and true. It makes two people feel as one, an entire family feel as one – a whole community, an entire world. It connects – breaks down barriers, destroys the vastness of space and the longevity of time. It simplifies – is simple – is the truth.
“Hate is impure, for it is the manifestation of a lack of understanding. It is complicated, for it divides. It makes people feel alone, exist as individuals, infinitely dividing reality into competition. It increases the vastness of space, amplifies the duration of time. It is complex – justified by an infinite litany of events and prejudices and biases and mis-attributions and failed communications and on and on and on.
“Words complicate. Are not the truest loves unspoken? They exist beyond and without and in spite of language. The truest loves exist as what you could only call an intuitive knowing – there are no words to describe such love, such truth.
“All of us here are fallen from grace. We thought we loved, thought we were in love. Seth with Sara, Sara with Seth and then with you, you with Sara and then with existence. Me with Xaos, Xaos with me and then with Cyril, Cyril with Xaos and then with hatred. The truth is, we were united by a different emotion, by envy. We wanted love, thought maybe we were in love, but we did not understand it. We over-complicated it, over-thought it, nearly made it incomprehensible. We did make it incomprehensible. We analyzed it out of existence for ourselves.
“We are united by a wound, by a blasphemy against truth. For we committed the worst sin, profaned the name of the simplest and purest force in the universe with our vandalizing words and defacing phrases, with our insulting thoughts.
“The original sin was when man began inventing his own realities, his own framework to understand the world by – good, evil, love, hate, morals, justice, God, and on and on. The ultimate crime was the arrogance to perpetuate and make eternal this system – even after learning the absolute truth of the composition of reality and its truest, simplest laws. The justification for this decision was the entirely misguided and egotistical delusion that man’s framework was better than the ultimate simplicity – and the ultimate criminal was Xaos.
“Athanasius reasoned that the situation was helpless: the entrenched nature of language, made eternal by the blight of Chaos upon the universe…his dream of a humanity free from its self-imposed shackles was beyond his individual power to assure. This manifested in dread, in a fall from understanding, and he misguidedly decided – using a framework of his own thought, steeped as it was in language – that his best course of action to simplify the situation, to arrive back at the origin, was to eliminate man.
“But unnatural death, like hate, only complicates. Those that are left behind are inconsolable as they try, and fail, to grasp the rationale of the deaths of loved ones. The only rationale that can be imposed finds its birth in words, in language – which betray the very tenets of reality that the begrieved so desperately seek to understand. And slowly, the world becomes more and more incomprehensible, until…. And in this way, Athanasius was only unwittingly doing the work of Chaos.
“And what of Seth Vidar, the other figure who truly understands the nature of things? Words fail me now, for I myself lack his understanding. And even with that unspoken understanding, the best one can muster is an unreal clarity of articulation – which itself is a lie when compared to the absolute truth. So here are the blasphemous metaphors that will stand in place of real understanding, stand side by side with the ones already used up until this point:
“Chaos sustains itself by the symbiotic, parasitic relationship between Xaos’ dead body – which even now bleeds Chaos – and Eternity, which filters it throughout the entire universe. Eternity is truly beyond words – its purposes, the secrets of its workings, one cannot even begin to think of words to suffice. And you possess the Eternity Tear, a small fragment of what should have been. Using this, Seth Vidar can restore us back to the point of origin.”